The penalty you pay for visiting this site is having to endure misleading headlines followed by useless morsels of trivia. So here’s the current installment involving scary things white and fluffy. Like CoolWhip™. And Sandra Lee.

Back in the day when we had cable, she was hands-down the most educative chef assembler on Food Network. Each of her “semi-homemade” recipes involved 70% cans and containers that she opened in rapid succession with a little assistance from her silicone-augmented boobs. And 30% homemade. Or something.

I learnt that “corn nuts”, “sprinkles”, “canned frosting” and “Cool Whip” weren’t (just) sexual innuendo. They were the four food groups, at least two of which were used in each episode to embalm the victims of her culinary hate crimes. Isn’t it just darling on that gorgeous “tablescape” in the kitchen that matches her dress and sets your eyeballs on fire?

Baked Potato Ice Cream

For my fellow denizens from the Kingdom of Cluelessness, CoolWhip™ is a brand of “whipped topping” – a fake whipped cream that is routinely used in conjunction with food colouring to make things look like barf. The experts call it

“a delicious blend of sugar, wax, and condom lube”.

Pic courtesy Consumerist.com

In some markets, such as Canada and the United States, CoolWhip™ is available in an aerosol can using nitrous oxide as a propellant.

I’ve since attended a few parties where the hostess gushed about her “Kulfi with Cool Whip” or a “trifle with whipped topping, what’s more, it’s vegan” and I’ve had to inform them “with great regret” that it’s not vegan, really. It’s got casein, a stabiliser derived from milk, and though I’d really really love to taste it, I’m sorry I can’t, ‘cos I’m so finicky.

And I’ve often wondered about the bobbleheads on TV and Youtube who laugh all the way to the bank while peddling cookbooks and websites with toxic advice under the guise of “convenience”. Does Sandra Lee look like she eats the crap that she features in her shows? I don’t think so.

That brings us to the express mango ice cream.

This is the easiest and one of the tastiest ice creams you’ll make. Three ingredients, five minutes. No ice cream machine. No Cool Whip.

We tasted it first when our friend cynic made it when we visited him last year. I had to make it after he reminded us about it in this comment recently.

This ice cream yields the perfect texture and consistency and is very easy to scoop even though it has not been “churned”. You can try replacing the mango pulp with pureed fruit (like berries, apricots or peaches) for countless variations.

You need three things.

1. White fluff

“My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy the ice cream while it’s on your plate.” ~ Thornton Wilder

As long as it doesn’t have wax and lube.

Like cynic, you can use:

** Truwhip, which is trans fat free and though not a health food, stays away from the toxic realm. Can’t beat the convenience, if used as an occasional indulgence.

TruWhip: Water, organic tapioca syrup, expeller-pressed palm kernel oil, organic cane sugar, organic palm kernel oil, contains less than 2% of each of the following: organic soy protein concentrate, sodium caseinate (milk protein), organic tapioca starch, natural flavors, organic soy lecithin, xanthan gum, guar gum. contains milk and soy.

Contains casein, so it’s not vegan.

Reddi Wip is dairy-based, but since it comes in an aerosol can and has nitrous oxide, it may not work for this purpose.

INGREDIENTS:
Cream, nonfat milk, corn syrup, sugar, mono- and diglycerides, natural and artificial flavors, carrageenan, nitrous oxide (propellant).

Has anyone used it to make ice cream or kulfi?

** Better yet organic heavy cream. Whip it using a whisk or hand blender until it doubles in volume.

Try and get a brand from a local dairy that has just one ingredient – cream. Sans carrageenan or preservatives. Organic Valley Pasteurised fits the bill. Ask your grocery store manager to stock it. The key word is “pasteurised”, not ultra-pasteurised. Organic Valley ultra-pasteurised (and 90% of the brands on the market) have carrageenan.

It may take you an extra 5 minutes, but it will be worth it.

Vegans can use Soyatoo! vegan whipped topping.

Ingredients: Soy drink (water, organic soybeans), organic coconut fat, organic palm butter, organic sugar beet syrup, organic corn maltodextrin, tartaric acid, seaweed extract (thickener), sea salt, natural vanilla extract

or try using this technique to whip up coconut cream.

You can use more than 10 oz if you wish, but that may dilute the mango flavour.

2. Canned Mango Pulp

Ingredients: Mangoes, sugar

Available at the Indian grocer in different brands. Indian mangoes like Alphonso and Kesar are very sweet to begin with, plus it has loads of added sugar.

3. Sweetened Condensed Milk

Since the mango pulp is so sweet, you can get away with 3/4 or even half a can of sweetened condensed milk. This time we used the whole can. If you simply use pureed mangoes without sugar, you can use the whole can.

Vegans can use homemade vegan dulce de leche. (Recipes here, here and here.) We haven’t tried this, but there’s no reason it shouldn’t work.

EXPRESS MANGO ICE CREAM

Makes about 2 quarts.

10 oz tub of Truwhip
**or substitutes listed above
a 30-oz can of mango pulp
14-oz can (or less) of organic sweetened condensed milk
**or vegan dulce de leche

Mix together mango pulp and sweetened condensed milk with a whisk. Fold in the Truwhip gently. We use an electric hand mixer to blend everything together. Put into containers with lids and freeze for at least two hours.

A REQUEST FROM A READER

Nithya Kathiresan is a 27 year old lady from Orlando, Florida who was diagnosed with AML (a type of Blood Cancer) in January 2010. She is being treated with chemotherapy, but urgently needs a Bone Marrow transplant.

Unfortunately the HLA typing test, a donor test performed for tissue type matching, of her siblings was negative. The only available option now is to find an unrelated donor for her bone marrow transplant.

Getting registered as a donor:

If you are interested in saving somebody’s life, you need to register yourself as a potential donor at NMDP’s registry. The process of registering is very simple. You have to take the sample of your stem cells by rubbing an ear bud in your buccal cavity (mouth). However, this can be done when a donor drive is conducted in your city or your office. Please contact us, if you can arrange for a donor drive. Donor drives are required to collect many more samples at one go.

Becoming a donor:

If your HLA typing matches with that of any patient, you can donate your stem cells. This is absolutely voluntary. You have no obligation to go through the process if you feel uninclined at any stage. A bone marrow donation involves the extraction of a small amount of healthy HSC from donor’s bone (usually the hip bone) under general anaesthesia and storing it in a marrow bag for the subsequent administration to the recipient in a process similar to blood transfusion. You can usually return back to your day-to-day life immediately.

If you think you could help Nithya, please contact her family. Details at http://helpnithya.com/

- bee (and jai)

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28 Comments

  1. shoba says:

    I love mangoes in any form and have whipped these too.. Yummo!! And, I think it would be better if I stay put and not comment about Ms.Lee and her can do( read it as can open) attitude. :-)

  2. Anh says:

    Very interesting post :) And I really like the photos in this post!

  3. Mamatha says:

    I had not heard of Sandra Lee until I read about her on your blog about 2 years ago. This weekend, at a home-improvement store, I actually saw a magazine dedicated to her Semi-Homemade cooking. I flipped through it and seeing her recipes made me barf!!

    I’ll surely try this recipe when I can get my hands on the pasteurized OV whipping cream. None of the grocery stores I visit carry it and I believe I have to buy it by the case to have them stock it :(

  4. Raaga says:

    Yummy… I will wait for the mango season now :)

    But I didn’t know this about aerosol canned cream. I bought this: http://www.euraco.com.sg/html/iframe_food_elleetvire.html and have just had it with fresh cut strawberries… I’ll have to go check the label again… and see what it has!

  5. arundati says:

    oooo!! yumm yumm!! am craving mango icecream… will wait for the fruit to come in… just made strawberry banana icecream… havent heard of sandra lee… i think nothing lost there!!

  6. Happy Cook says:

    I have bought mango pulp from chinese stores, but they nevr taste good and sis told buy theindian one from indian store, but i have never found one here.
    Love love this super fast ice cream making method.

  7. Manggy says:

    I tweeted Nithya’s site, I hope it helps. Praying that she pulls through.
    This is genius. Hm, I wonder how I’d have to adjust the sugar if I’m using our in-season mangoes here ;) (taunting)

  8. Lakshmi says:

    omg..Im just loving this mango icecream..mangoes in any form anyday for me.
    in fact your whole ice cream series is awesome.

  9. Sangeetha says:

    Great stuff!
    Question: Can I use a blender to mix everything? Or do they need to be gently mixed? I am a little confused since you instruct to fold the whipped cream gently but then say you used an electric beater.

  10. Gitanjali says:

    Love the recipe! The Garelick Farm Heavy Cream I got from Trader Joes is pasteurized without any preservatives.

  11. sandy says:

    I am all about healthy eating but I think you should not have been so rude about Sandra Lee. Everyone is in their own path and take her advice or leave it but the question to you is, why did you have to make it so personal?

    • Mindy says:

      Agree with Sandy. Disagreement can be communicated with grace too.

      • jai bee says:

        let me tell you something about grace. i mentioned it in my response to sandy and you chose to ignore it. so i’ll repeat. grace is leaving a valid e-mail address or link instead of resorting to anonymous hit-and-run attacks.

        • Mindy says:

          Let me tell you something about attacks: if people who disagree with your point of view seem like “attacking you”, then you are wrong.

          If you don’t want anon comments, disable them.

  12. anonymous says:

    Comments on Sandra Lee were beneath you. Before you were vegan you were vegetarian right? what if all the vegans had bashed you from their high horse?

    • jai bee says:

      dear anonymous “sandy”,

      vegans are welcome to bash me from any horse. meanwhile, i do take it personally if a TV host talks to me (an audience member) as if i had a two digit IQ. next time, please post a valid e-mail address or link if you want us to respond to your comments. people are free to post comments without e-mail addresses, but if they don’t provide it, we don’t take them seriously.

      - bee

  13. KK says:

    Thank you so much bee :)

  14. Indrani says:

    WOW! never knew the facts about Coolwhip. Thanks so much! I am going to try this recipe soon. Do you have any recipe for kulfi (which does not require an ice cream machine…dont know if it is required in the first place for kulfi)? Thanks again!

  15. Nirmala says:

    Looks lovely. I made a strawberry icecream yesterday with Amul fresh cream, milk, sugar and of course fresh strawberry puree. Need to wait for one more month for the fresh mango supplies to make this delicious icecream!

  16. Gg says:

    do you think one could employ the same short cut to make maple walnut icecream? I LURRRVE it and it’s not available down here in the South :(
    I am uncertain on the amount of maple syrup that would be required to achieve the right consistency/sweetness.

    • jai bee says:

      sure. add enough maple syrup so that at room temp is is just a tad sweeter than you’d want it when it’s chilled. cold stuff tastes less sweet than room temp stuff.

  17. Aparna says:

    Never tried making ice-cream with condensed milk. Given that its so warm here (and mangoes are getting here)ice-cream made this quickly is very welcome.

  18. Gini says:

    Made this and it is delicious. Aidan loves this.

  19. Eco Mama says:

    I thought this post was very funny, and true. Fabulous.
    xo
    Eco Mama

  20. Rupa says:

    I love mango ice cream, gotta try this. I once tried mango ice cream made by just mixing mango pulp and vanilla ice cream in a food processor/mixer, not bad but may be yours will be more authentic. Re Sandra Lee, no comments, haven’t seen much of her. But the “artificialness” of Giada bugs me even more. There is a whole website dedicated to talk about her boobs which she insists on displaying on TV. I feel embarrassed to watch her when my son is around. I feel like telling her “It’s a cooking show for God’s sake, families are watching. Cover’em up a bit atleast, there is a place for everything”! As for Nithya, my prayers are with her and the family. I have lost track of how many people (especially Indians lately) seem to be afflicted by this dreadful disease. I read somewhere that Benzene exposure could be one of the causes. I for one am convinced that toxins in the environment/food is responsible for cancer in most cases! Hope she finds a donor soon. Sorry for the long comment.

  21. Jagruti says:

    Hi Jai and Bee
    1st time here…love mango ice cream..liked your version..very quick…got to try..

  22. KK says:

    She is no no more bee :(



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