The Martyr Woman

October 12, 2008 | 33 Comments

The holier-than-thou type who claims she sacrifices so much for her family and looks down upon women who don’t aspire to martyrdom.

The perfect Sophisticated Insult (from C.S. Lewis)

You are the sort of woman who lives for others – you can tell the others by their hunted expression.

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33 Comments

  1. Raaga says:

    I know this all too well… I am the bad bad bad girl who actually has a job and a career ;-)

  2. Vidya says:

    woohoo… that was awesome! the sophisticated insults set really rocks… more.. more!!

  3. Nirmala says:

    Lovely! But I have a bunch of ladies who lecture on this topic regularly. One of my close relative would utter this word “sacrifice” every other hour in a day!

  4. I am too much of feminist to look down on the ladies who scarifice and advertise about it. They have too many things going on for themself.

    To quote Dr. Sarah Harding from ‘Lost World’, “If you dont take credit, no one else will give it you.”

    But can you come up with something for the men of the family, who try to promote ‘sacrifice’ as a virute to other accquitance ladies and use their mom-wife as an example. That their “Mom stayed hungry, till we came back from school/office & had our meal, and then they had theirs. So we respect them”. I get too angry to say anything to shut them up.

    And I love your SI series.

    Me ? Has a career, am an acknowledged selfish person.

    “i wish i could respect men who promote doormatdom while they act like their hands are broken.”

  5. Lakshmi says:

    Loved the comments bee..will keep watching for more..

  6. I think I’ve met this woman….

  7. enjay says:

    Oo..this one strikes close to home. While I’m not a martyr woman by any stretch of the imagination, hearing them still sometimes triggers an atavistic guilt attack.

    BTW, the new voting system is a delight!

  8. Jen Yu says:

    How I wish I could hear you SAY these expressions :) You are a riot.

  9. anudivya says:

    Is this about home-makers or home-makers who claim to have made a sacrifice by giving up their career by choice or not so much by choice?

    this has nothing to do with homemakers.

  10. Mamatha says:

    I wanted to ask you if you have an SI for the men who promote this kind of ‘sacrifice’, until I saw your response to Prithi’s comment. Thank you!

    And do you have one for all holier-than-thou types?

    “have you polished your halo lately?”

  11. Lakshmi says:

    B and J, I love your blog! I am so hooked on to it..and I always leave ending with a smile and learning something new. I love this Insult series…its like it was written just for me…me, that bad working mom (who has a cruel heart to leave her child in daycare!!)…and needs to answer back effectively to those good (apparently frustrated but contented) stay-at-home moms.

  12. Mamatha says:

    “have you polished your halo lately?” LOVE IT! *Bows*

  13. sunita says:

    I have been on both sides – having been a working mom as well as a stay at home one… both sides have their pros and cons, and none should be looked down upon…working outside does not show negligence towards the family and staying at home does not mean that you don’t have anything better to do (…each have their own place, and the choices are more often dictated by circumstances.

    I have had comments from both sides, the ‘negelecting family’ types as well as the ‘Don’t you get bored, sitting at home?’ types. Ah well!

  14. Meera says:

    Love this series. :-D

  15. Cham says:

    SI are heating up!

  16. priya says:

    love it!!!

  17. Shweta says:

    This is realllly goooood!

  18. Priya says:

    I din’t know you guys were Americans…and you live in India !! You have been cheating us big time I say :P

  19. meg wolff says:

    Been there, done that. It is not very fun! Victim no more.

  20. nags says:

    Priya’s comment is funny. I thought (and know) its the other way around!

  21. Vidya says:

    “have you polished your halo lately?”
    *rotfl*

  22. “i wish i could respect men who promote doormatdom while they act like their hands are broken.”

    Cool :) ) Thx

  23. Miri says:

    Sad , but true…like Sunita, I have seen both sides too – worked and juggled all the balls and stayed home and juggled all the balls. If you do what you want to do and enjoy what you are doing, then where is the sacrifice!

  24. Madhuram says:

    Have you polished your halo lately! That’s the winner.

  25. Madhuram says:

    I think you should start another blog “Ask J&B”. I’m 100% sure that we (especially myself) could use your diplomatic confrontation technics.

  26. Kay says:

    :)

    “i wish i could respect men who promote doormatdom while they act like their hands are broken.”

    I love that!

  27. suma says:

    have you polished your halo lately? i loved this…:D

  28. paati says:

    One of your best !:))

  29. Pragyan says:

    Awesome! Have met quite a few of those..other than them, noone else is good enough. :)

  30. pooj says:

    Tell me about this. I am bad bad girl since i dare to b ambitiious.



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