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CLICK is a monthly food photography event. It is a theme-based contest. You do not need a blog to participate. Each month, entries will be invited based on a culinary ingredient or concept. More about it HERE.

Previous editions of CLICK HERE.

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We’ve received several ‘reminders’ to post the Burp and Fart Manual as promised a while ago. Don’t release your breath yet, ‘cos here it is.

Farting is serious business indeed. Did you know?

- On the average a fart is composed of about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen. Less than 1% (the e-coli content) is what makes them stink.

- The temperature of a fart at time of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

- Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.

- Bread is created by lots of yeast farts.

- Although they won’t admit it, women fart as much as men.

- Farts are flammable.

- A person produces about half a liter of gas a day – averaging 14 farts.

- The gas that makes your farts stink is hydrogen sulfide. The more sulfur rich your diet, the more your farts will stink. Some foods that cause really smelly farts include: beans, cabbage, cheese, soda and eggs.

Burps are farts from the other end. (If you beg to differ, go write your own manual.)

If you’re into deeper metaphysical questions like “why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular ones?” this is the place.

Let’s face it. We fart a lot. All of us do. Fourteen farts – that’s in addition to the two dozen or so brain farts that we let rip daily.

Not just us hoi polloi. Famous people fart too – in public places. According to credible sources

Marilyn Monroe was a Famous Farter, so frequent in her Aromatic Outbursts at any Moment, that Movie Directors had to work to disguise her Farts into their movies – the Academy Award winning Movie the “7-year Itch” for instance. Though many men found her billowing Dress blowing up her waist was erotic during Prudish Times, Fact is it was not the steam grate below her which captured that Iconic Moment. Why do you think she was married like 5 times?

Elizabeth Taylor was another prolific Farter, hence married a dozen or so times. Her two most memorable movies were “Scent of Mystery” – no surprise there – and her first foray into Fartdom was her movie “National Velvet”. It should have been titled “Farting on Horseback”. By the way the Horse she rode was initially White, but after her Musical ride, well…..

Imagine the Queen of England after a hearty lunch riding through the countryside on her prize stallion. What a beautiful symphony of warm emissions the two would generate!!!

‘Breaking wind’ (as the prudes call it) often goes hand in hand with life’s true indulgences – like baked beans.

“It is a “factual reality” that beans make you break wind, says South Africa’s advertising watchdog. A TV advert for sweet onions showed a rugby player eating beans that made him smell “stinky”. The advert claims that “with sweet onions there are no tears, no burn and definitely no stink”.

The country’s Dry Bean Producers Organisation complained about the advert on the basis that the “stinky” charge was untrue. However, the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has thrown out the charge, saying it is widely known that beans produce gas. “It plays on an objectively determinable factual reality which cannot be denied…” the ASA said on its website. – Reuters. (Source)”

Beans have sugars like raffinose, stacchiose and verbascose. When they reach our intestines, the bacteria go to town.

When you’re trying hard to suppress a fart, take inspiration from the late Kurt Vonnegut. He was a a no-nonsense practical kinda guy. He called a fart a fart. And he believed that if we fart so much, we might as well celebrate it. “I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different,” he said.

Now here’s our brain fart wave for today. If we are going to release half a liter of gas a day, we might as well channel it to positive use. Like releasing angst. Or annoying the guy on the bus who’s yodelling on his cell phone. Or losing weight.

Gas weighs something.

22.4 liters of any gas @ standard temperature and pressure weighs one mol. (The weight in grams of 1 mol of a substance is equal to the weight in Atomic Mass Units of one atom or molecule of that substance.)

A weighted average of the composition of a standard fart (59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen) would be just about half a gram.

It logically follows that if you fart more, you weigh less. So here’s to farting around. And to beans.

** Dried fruits of leguminous plants such as peas, beans, pulses, lupines.

Fresh/green beans or peas are not acceptable.

CLICK Beans n Lentils. Highlight them in any setting, cooked or uncooked.

DEADLINE: the 30th of May, 2008, midnight, Eastern Standard Time.

RULES AND ENTRY FORM

Entries should be linked to THIS post.

Do you have a picture that has already appeared on your site? Send it in using the entry form after you have added a link to THIS event accouncement.

The entries will be posted as they arrive. They can be accessed HERE or through the ‘CLICK‘ icon on the right sidebar.

E of Evolving Tastes

Gopal Seshadrinathan (Winner of CLICK: March 2008)

Helen of Tartelette

Maryann of Finding La Dolce Vita

Meeta of What’s for Lunch, Honey?

(By taking part in this event, participants accept that the pictures submitted to Jugalbandi.info have been taken by them, and do not infringe upon the proprietary rights, including but not limited to the copyright, of any third party. If challenged, the responsibility to prove the ownership of the picture, as well as all attendant liabilities rest with the participant.

Pictures that have pornographic content or are not family friendly will not be accepted.)

Thank you for your support and participation.

- – Jai and Bee

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59 Comments

  1. Divya says:

    wonderful theme!

  2. Suganya says:

    For a moment, I thought you were asking for farts captured on pics. Now that would be a riot ;)

    like these
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvXybs3OF_I&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LazXj9YrH1M

  3. Manasi says:

    ROFL!!!!! U r a genius!!!!
    Here is something I heard as a kid wrt farts! the Sanskrit is easy to follow too !!!
    ‘payyam puyaam bhayam nasti, thussakaram maha ghoram’!!!
    :D
    How true!!

  4. revathi says:

    ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!! I was wondering what could be a click theme that relates to farting !!!!!! Thats one brave post !

  5. nandita says:

    Gross!!! yet FUNNY :)

    Interesting build up to the bean theme :D

  6. nandita says:

    ROFLMAO at Suganya’s comment…i must admit i was wondering on those lines too!!!

  7. Cham says:

    Beautiful theme but ur pict scares me :) Just kidding i admit u guys re photo genius!

  8. DK says:

    You have no idea what a relief it was to see the theme! For a moment I had a wild moment in there..U wudnt past u guyz to come up with such a theme :)

    Hehe it was funny. On that baby note there is this cute videos..did u chk it out? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82hvPp7JiRQ&feature=related.

    Good theme! :)

    that video is hilarious.

  9. DK says:

    oops that was one serious typo!

    I wudnt put it past u guyz to come up with such a theme !

  10. Uma says:

    I agree, I also thought what farting to do with click…ha ha! That’s a wonderful theme. But looking at your professional picture, feeling a little scared to click my amateur picture. I’ll definitely try to chip in.

  11. Padmaja says:

    For a minute, I got carried away but wow what a wonderful theme!!My brain cells have already flickring!!

  12. Arundathi says:

    atleast I have 29 days to think of a nice photo! its a great theme, you guys! And I absolutely love the fart FYIs! the warmth of a fart??! LOL!

  13. Asha says:

    I knew it was Beans the second I read about F and B! Hahaha!!
    Just sent you my Au Naturel. Beans will do fine too!:))

  14. Siri says:

    so, finally the most awaited ‘Fart manual’ is out for public.huh? .hehhe.. its gross, but hilarious..Thanks for sharing all ur ‘Fart Gyan’ with us!..;)

    ‘Beans and Lentils’ is a lovely theme.

    Siri

  15. Sandeepa says:

    Fart a post !!!!!

  16. Pixie says:

    Beans beans they’re good for your heart the more you eat the more you…..

    LAUGH OUT LOUD! ;) am pleased with this one as I have what I consider a FARTWORTHY Photo of Beans.;0)

  17. Mamatha says:

    Where are those emoticons when I need them the most! That was hillarious and informative. I suggest you provide a freely downloadable pdf for this manual :) .

  18. Maya says:

    Can someone tell me how I submit an entry.

    - Amateur photographer, competitor and blogger. :)

    http://jugalbandi.info/clickentryform/

  19. Maya says:

    Awesome! that was fast. :)
    Answer me this too – 1)How – 550 pixels wide?
    2)How – link back to the event announcement on Jugalbandi?

    thanks.
    btw, jugalbandhi is an awesome find! :D

    resizing instructions are on the same link.

  20. sreelu says:

    I am fart “enlightened”, what a theme to choose, for a moment I was wondering how to capture click :)

  21. Maryann says:

    haha..too much information..haha :)

  22. Manisha says:

    I am being spam blocked again. :D

  23. arfi says:

    LOL… When I read the prologue I thought we’re going to capture some steam or something, but then… good things come up in the end, ey? I’ll do my best, B & J! Good theme!

  24. Meera says:

    Like many others, I didn’t know where it’s going. What a relief to read about beans, finally!
    it is informative & funny but gross!!:-D

  25. Miri says:

    I didn’t even wait to figure out what the theme was – just quickly scrolled down and took a look AND then came back up to read the manual – “Fart” things first huh?! :)

  26. Anjali says:

    Last night I was laffing so much thot my neighbors wld knock at the door to take me to a mental hospital. This is crazy only you guys can do this!

  27. Dee says:

    I thought this month’s theme was all about farts for a sometime!!! Whoa that was a riot of info about farts!!!

  28. [...] am sending the picture above to Jai and Bee for the Click – Beans ‘n Lentils. I guess mine is the first entry to this month’s Click Event! I’m glad I got my entire [...]

  29. ranji says:

    lovely theme jai and bee…..loved reading the fart write up…truely hilarious :) !!!

  30. Deepika says:

    Jai and Bee,
    You have a wonderful blog and this post is hilarious. Thanks a lot for accepting my last minute entry to CLICK au naturel… and your detailed information about resizing the image ..that helped a lot.. though you have to give to me for goofing up after all the instructions I had on hand :) and had to ask DH for help resizing it.

  31. This event is especially nice because of all the Spring feel of the produce! Thanks again for the event! You guys rock!

  32. chemcookit says:

    Wonderful theme, and the funniest announcement ever! :)

    we knew that you’d like our reference to good ‘ol avogadro!

  33. dhanggit says:

    love love this “fart and barp” manual post..;funny and informative :-) i’ve been quite emotionally exhausted the past weeks but here i come for this month’s click event, count me in jai and bee :-)

  34. Leena says:

    Yes ! I wont have to write my own Burp & Fart manual .. as I agree that …
    A ‘Burp’ is a ‘Fart’ from the other end !!!
    So which one is better…?? Is something to think about…

    Here is the answer:
    “Why to Fart & Waste …. When You Can Burp & Taste !!!” ;) hee hee….

    Lovely post Dear Jai & Bee… Thanks for spreading so much laughter gas around !!! :)

    Leena.

  35. [...] d’asperges (Cream of Asparagus Soup) This is my entry for CLICK! May, where the theme is Beans and Lentils. Check it [...]

  36. [...] her post to bee and jai for use with their current CLICK! which is on beans. You should read their post on the side effects of such a diet! But I have sidetracked. Homemade has a recipe for Ginger Tea as [...]

  37. roopa says:

    Hi !! I have send in my entry for the event:) Thanks for hosting this event !!

  38. [...] took this for the Click competition but still haven’t decided for sure which to submit. I have to the end of the month and will [...]

  39. [...] I entered this photo in the Click! Photo Event: Beans’n Lentils [...]

  40. soumya says:

    ROFL!!!!…You guys are simply superb!!!.i have tears in my eyes laughing at the fart facts :D

  41. [...] am sending this to as an entry to the Click:Beans ‘n Lentils event hosted by Jai and Bee at [...]

  42. [...] write up for this month’s theme – Beans and Lentils – is absolutely hilarious (and informative), and if you haven’t submitted [...]

  43. [...] is my entry for the monthly food photgraphy event CLICK hosted by dear Jai and [...]

  44. [...] fun taking a photo outdoors for a change instead of in the kitchen. I entered the top image in the CLICK PHOTO EVENT. It is worthwhile to take a look, as the photography is stunning. It is inspiring as well, which is [...]

  45. ranji says:

    i just now sent u my clcik entry!!i hope u got it…do let me know if u havent!!!

  46. [...] by vivnidhi on May 27, 2008 I accept  I am quite nervous in sending my entry to CLICK , my favorite food photography event.  I am a novice at photography and am completely in [...]

  47. [...] Yes, this is my entry for the CLICK: May 2008 (Beans ‘n Lentils) event hosted by Jai and Bee. [...]

  48. [...] I am trying to decide which shot of Mom’s lentils should be submitted for this month’s CLICK: Beans n’ Lentils. [...]

  49. mindy jordan says:

    Hey Jai and Bee,

    This is mine

    Salam,
    //mindy



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