CLICK is a monthly food photography event. It is a theme-based contest. You do not need a blog to participate. Each month, entries will be invited based on a culinary ingredient or concept. More about it HERE.
Previous editions of CLICK HERE.
We’ve received several ‘reminders’ to post the Burp and Fart Manual as promised a while ago. Don’t release your breath yet, ‘cos here it is.
Farting is serious business indeed. Did you know?
- On the average a fart is composed of about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen. Less than 1% (the e-coli content) is what makes them stink.
- The temperature of a fart at time of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.
- Bread is created by lots of yeast farts.
- Although they won’t admit it, women fart as much as men.
- Farts are flammable.
- A person produces about half a liter of gas a day – averaging 14 farts.
- The gas that makes your farts stink is hydrogen sulfide. The more sulfur rich your diet, the more your farts will stink. Some foods that cause really smelly farts include: beans, cabbage, cheese, soda and eggs.
Burps are farts from the other end. (If you beg to differ, go write your own manual.)
If you’re into deeper metaphysical questions like “why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular ones?” this is the place.
Let’s face it. We fart a lot. All of us do. Fourteen farts – that’s in addition to the two dozen or so brain farts that we let rip daily.
Not just us hoi polloi. Famous people fart too – in public places. According to credible sources
Marilyn Monroe was a Famous Farter, so frequent in her Aromatic Outbursts at any Moment, that Movie Directors had to work to disguise her Farts into their movies – the Academy Award winning Movie the “7-year Itch” for instance. Though many men found her billowing Dress blowing up her waist was erotic during Prudish Times, Fact is it was not the steam grate below her which captured that Iconic Moment. Why do you think she was married like 5 times?
Elizabeth Taylor was another prolific Farter, hence married a dozen or so times. Her two most memorable movies were “Scent of Mystery” – no surprise there – and her first foray into Fartdom was her movie “National Velvet”. It should have been titled “Farting on Horseback”. By the way the Horse she rode was initially White, but after her Musical ride, well…..
Imagine the Queen of England after a hearty lunch riding through the countryside on her prize stallion. What a beautiful symphony of warm emissions the two would generate!!!
‘Breaking wind’ (as the prudes call it) often goes hand in hand with life’s true indulgences – like baked beans.
“It is a “factual reality” that beans make you break wind, says South Africa’s advertising watchdog. A TV advert for sweet onions showed a rugby player eating beans that made him smell “stinky”. The advert claims that “with sweet onions there are no tears, no burn and definitely no stink”.
The country’s Dry Bean Producers Organisation complained about the advert on the basis that the “stinky” charge was untrue. However, the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has thrown out the charge, saying it is widely known that beans produce gas. “It plays on an objectively determinable factual reality which cannot be denied…” the ASA said on its website. – Reuters. (Source)”
Beans have sugars like raffinose, stacchiose and verbascose. When they reach our intestines, the bacteria go to town.
When you’re trying hard to suppress a fart, take inspiration from the late Kurt Vonnegut. He was a a no-nonsense practical kinda guy. He called a fart a fart. And he believed that if we fart so much, we might as well celebrate it. “I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different,” he said.
Now here’s our brain
fart wave for today. If we are going to release half a liter of gas a day, we might as well channel it to positive use. Like releasing angst. Or annoying the guy on the bus who’s yodelling on his cell phone. Or losing weight.
Gas weighs something.
22.4 liters of any gas @ standard temperature and pressure weighs one mol. (The weight in grams of 1 mol of a substance is equal to the weight in Atomic Mass Units of one atom or molecule of that substance.)
A weighted average of the composition of a standard fart (59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen) would be just about half a gram.
It logically follows that if you fart more, you weigh less. So here’s to farting around. And to beans.
** Dried fruits of leguminous plants such as peas, beans, pulses, lupines.
Fresh/green beans or peas are not acceptable.
CLICK Beans n Lentils. Highlight them in any setting, cooked or uncooked.
DEADLINE: the 30th of May, 2008, midnight, Eastern Standard Time.
Entries should be linked to THIS post.
Do you have a picture that has already appeared on your site? Send it in using the entry form after you have added a link to THIS event accouncement.
The entries will be posted as they arrive. They can be accessed HERE or through the ‘CLICK‘ icon on the right sidebar.
E of Evolving Tastes
Gopal Seshadrinathan (Winner of CLICK: March 2008)
Helen of Tartelette
Maryann of Finding La Dolce Vita
Meeta of What’s for Lunch, Honey?
(By taking part in this event, participants accept that the pictures submitted to Jugalbandi.info have been taken by them, and do not infringe upon the proprietary rights, including but not limited to the copyright, of any third party. If challenged, the responsibility to prove the ownership of the picture, as well as all attendant liabilities rest with the participant.
Pictures that have pornographic content or are not family friendly will not be accepted.)
Thank you for your support and participation.
- – Jai and Bee