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Shut up and eat your burger
March 7, 2008 | 18 Comments
(This rant was written for – and first appeared on – the blog Dining Hall, which has since closed down.)
Tony Bourdain has been rabblerousing again, in his cranky curmudgeonly fashion. So what’s new?
In Kitchen Confidential, a few years ago, he railed against “vegetarians, sauce-on-siders, the ‘lactose-intolerant’, the cooking of Ewok-like Emeril Lagasse…”, among others. In his more recent Nasty Bits, he goes on about how vegetarians and vegans are the scourge of the earth and how obese people are a “menace to society”. He calls restaurant kitchens the “last meritocracy”, while stating in the same breath, that the scenario is “actively hostile to women”. (Sample Mr. Disdain’s gems in his Salon interview HERE)
A lot of the vitriol has to do with his effort to project a bad-boy, don’t-give-a-crap persona that plays to the omnivorous crowd that enjoys liberal bashing (Ironically, the Salon interview was in the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco.) Attention-seeking helps sell books.
Looking beyond the horse manure (pure vegetarian), however, one senses that his rants are directed against the sanctimonious Malibu, Whole Foods crowd that he believes can’t cook a vegetable right, but wants to tell others what they should eat and how they should live. Well, his sexist, elitist outbursts against his peeve of the day aren’t helping to make his case. They reveal exactly the kind of persona he has a problem with.
As someone who was hard-core carnivore through her childhood and teenage years, then strict vegan for a decade, I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum, and can relate to some of what he’s talking about.
Now I am a lax vegetarian (so is J), meaning we if we visit someone’s home, or an event where there are no healthy vegetarian options, we may try a non-vegetarian dish.
I refuse to eat Broccoli Death smothered with hormone-infused cheese glop. I’ll eat bread and salad. If that isn’t available, pass me the salmon, please.
No matter of what stripe you are, there is no dearth of folks to want to lecture you about your dietary habits, while constantly drawing attention to the heavy halos around their own heads.
And they are everywhere.
Growing up in India, in a vegetarian household where my mom never cooked or ate fish, poultry or meat (my dad ate everything that moved, primarily on his travels), I tasted red meat in someone else’s home and was hooked. I refused to eat veggies or anything else for a short while, until my mom started plying me with fish, mutton, chicken, lamb. I especially loved beef kebabs and pork sausages.
My mom was cautioned by “concerned” folk against letting me interact with those “polluted meat eaters”. The undercurrent of racism, equating castes and religious groups that eat meat with being “unclean” pervades Indian society.
Like this woman from Nepal who says:
“Yes, we do not allow the dalits to enter our houses. The dalits eat cows and buffaloes, that is why they are dirty. If we eat this kind of meat or touch somebody who eats it, the gods will make us very sick. When one of our buffaloes dies we tell the sarki dalits to come and fetch it. The sarki use the skin to make leather strings. But they also eat the meat – so how could we allow them to enter our houses or take water from our water tap?”
“Those folks” are good enough to clean our toilets, and make our leather sandals, but not to dine with or even enter our homes, and the fact that they are omnivores is a good excuse.
This is a pervasive attitude. J (who has been vegetarian all his life) has had childhood friends with Ivy league educations and jobs in Fortune 500 companies tell him that they believe people of certain castes have a higher IQ and qualities from their herbivorous lifestyles.
Some vegetarians will go to great lengths to impose their lifestyle choices on others.
Like Jack Vegetarianberger (I didn’t make that up):
Is it impolite of carnivores to eat animal flesh when they dine with vegetarians? I think so. Just as it is becoming less socially acceptable in the U.S. for people who are slowly killing themselves with cigarettes to smoke in the presence of nonsmokers, I believe vegetarians should make their feelings about meat-contaminated mealtimes known to nonvegetarians.
While social circumstances always differ, being able to enjoy a meat-free meal while dining with carnivores generally means you must do some pre-meal planning. The socially uncomfortable aspect of asking someone to not eat animal flesh at mealtime is that your message implies that their dietary lifestyle is offensive. My advice:
Strike first. When you know that you are going to eat with one or more carnivores, suggest that the meal take place at your home or at a vegetarian restaurant, a place where you can control what food is (and isn’t) served.
Control freak, anyone? If I am hosting a dinner party that includes omnivores, or we are at a restaurant, no one is supposed to serve or order fish, chicken or meat, ‘cos the feeeeelingggs of these folks will be hurt. They want to dictate which restaurant everyone goes to, what someone serves at a party, and what everyone at the table eats. I have relatives of this type, and they wonder why I don’t like to be around them. When Disdain talks of killjoys, these are the people he’s referring to.
It’s amazing how the analogy with smoking is bandied about. I guess these folks are too sure of their moral superiority to ‘get’ that being exposed to passive smoke is one thing, having someone across you eat lamb is quite another.
I think it’s incredibly cruel to produce and eat foie gras. If someone eats it in front of me, I’m not going to voice my displeasure. I will re-evaluate future interactions, but no, I will not ask them to stop eating foie gras, or not eat it in my presence.
You cannot mandate what others eat in THEIR homes or in public places. Is that so hard to get? It apparently is, for some vegetarians and vegans.
Then there are the preachy ones, who start out in a reasonable tone, broaching the subject of your life choices, trying to get you on the defensive. When you disagree with them, they get more strident and personal. See the comments section of THIS POST.
It’s interesting that no meat eater has chosen to lecture us thus on our blog. Mr. Disdain is on to something.
That being said, most vegetarians and vegans I have met are the unobtrusive types. Whether their lifestyle choices are dictated by ethics, or taste, or both, they pursue them diligently with tremendous self-discipline. They will share their perspectives with you only if you want to hear about them, and they are not the cause of the world’s catastrophes as Disdain would have us believe.
Being strict vegan for a decade and a vegetarian now, I can vouch how much harder it is to be either in American society, where there are no dearth of reminders of what a freak you are.
We live in a place where every restaurant with an all-vegetarian menu has had to go out of business. (I believe there were three) In California, it was easy finding decent vegetarian options on any menu.
When we first arrived here and went to the local Chili’s, on hearing of these freaks who wanted a veggie burger, the manager came out and graciously offered to see if the ‘chef could make a mushroom option’, ‘cos they had not a single veggie item on the menu. Their menu has become much more vegetarian friendly in the in the past couple of years, but really, it is bizarre.
My neighbour, who is a sweet lady, asked us, “So what do vegetarians eat?” She said she would love to eat Indian food, provided “you didn’t add any veggie besides potatoes”. She has three kids who will also grow up wondering “What do vegetarians eat?” and “What veggies exist other than potatoes?”.
Just recently, two hours from Seattle, we were told at a McDonalds (which was the only place open late at night), that the only veggie option they had was ‘coffee’.
The only chain restaurants where we can find more than two vegetarian items on the menu are at breakfast places, but if you’re vegan and/or don’t eat eggs, you’re going to have a much harder time.
Cooking vegetarian and vegan food well is just not a priority in the omnivorous eating establishments in this country. Decent vegetarian and/or vegan fare with a good variety, is very hard to come by unless you live in a big metro, or in a neighbourhood with various ethnic cuisines like Thai, Indian, Chinese, Lebanese, Ethiopian, Afghan, or authentic Italian. The chain eateries serving ‘American’ fare are really dismal in this regard.
There’s also the attitude that vegetarian and vegans are so whiny and pathetic, can’t they eat the french fries and shut up already? Which sane person doesn’t eat fish fingers or chicken nuggets?
So what does one do when one encounters stuff one does not want to eat? One says, “No thank you”, and moves on. Or makes sure one eats something at home before going to a party.
Under such circumstances, some vegans become Freegans – someone who is vegan 90% of the time, but if he/she is compelled to eat in the office cafeteria or outside one’s home, will eat omnivore food if the need arises.
Some vegetarians become lax, like J and I. We think it is less ethical to waste food or to poison our bodies with processed crap rather than to eat something healthy with meat in it.
By and large, vegetarians and vegans try to find their way around as quietly and efficiently as possible, in an environment that is distinctly hostile to them.
It’s interesting how some Indians refer to ‘ghaas foos’ (grass) while talking about herbivorous fare, but if we said “blood and gore” to refer to meat, they would be offended. It’s just a given. (Read Maryam Arif’s Confessions of a Grass Eater about being vegetarian in Pakistan)
Or how some omnivores declare ‘tofurkey’ and ‘beansprouts’ to be the cornerstones of vegan and even vegetarian food. They seem to have made up their minds that former omnivores miss meat so much, that when they turn vegetarian or vegan, they substitute the processed junk they used to eat with vegan processed junk like tofurkey and boca burgers. Else they must live off bean sprouts and cry themselves to sleep every night.
Mr. Disdain, whose television travel series has taken him to places like Beirut and India, recognizes and respects the diversity of vegetarian and vegan fare. (“They can cook vegan in India”, he points out, in this interview.)
So who is he railing against? The folks at Berkeley who took him on a vegan picnic and served him stuff he didn’t like? Well, there are plenty of folks who cook carnivorous food that tastes, looks like, and is coated with crap (like the warthog rectum he ate in Namibia), and many who cook vegetarian and vegan food in America the way it ought to be cooked. If Disdain hasn’t been to Chez Panisse or Moosewood Restaurant, it’s not our fault or our problem.
To some others, veganism is just a hippie fad that may actually be detrimental to health.
We have an NBC television crew in Austin all concerned about this “teenage urban fad”. So what were these kids actually eating? Tofu patties, broccoli, rice, and corn muffins.
According to NBC, this meal “looks healthy, but experts say vegans can lack necessary protein and vitamin B in their diet.”
And who is this expert that NBC chooses to interview? A psychiatrist!
And what does this psychiatrist/vegan expert say? She says that a vegan diet can lead to eating disorders or malnutrition. She also says that vegans can be “hypersensitive” and “more easily depressed.” (from Tomorrow Friendly Food )
They’re likely to be depressed ‘cos they’re eating broccoli and cornbread. They’ll be all fired up like the Energizer Bunny if they eat ‘normally’ like other kids – a cheeseburger with a supersized coke, please.
If you point out that athlete Carl Lewis is vegan, this same psychiatrist will probably call him a fake vegan who tiptoes to the kitchen at midnight to eat prime ribs.
The level of ignorance and rudeness one encounters as a vegetarian or vegan, is galactic. “What does a vegan eat, anyway?” is a question I often got asked. Check out the blog by that name. How about REAL FOOD? It’s what comprises about 75% of the diet of omnivores in most parts of the world, where the concept of a nutritonally sound approach is integral to the dietary culture.
In the West, it’s much much harder to be vegetarian or vegan than to be an omnivore. It is tiring to see all the mooing and clucking and attention generated when one simply asks for a vegetarian option, especially when you’re paying for a meal.
In a corporate situation, where a meal is being ordered in for a lunchtime meeting, try finding a vegetarian option. If there is one, the carnivores will often polish it off, saying “hmmmm, it doesn’t taste bad”, leaving the vegetarian or vegan wondering what they are going to eat. We are used to this form of callousness.
Or restaurant staff may add beef to your dish, though you’ve asked for and are paying for a vegetarian meal, just to teach you not to be so fussy and difficult.
Yet, we don’t whine as much as Tony Disdain does. He is so full of contradictions it’s hard to take him seriously.
They’re rude! People’s choice to become vegan, from people I’ve spoken to, seems motivated by fear. Like, “it’s possibly toxic, or ungroovy, or poisonous, or loaded with chemicals or some kind of harmful things that’ll make me less healthy.” I certainly don’t see that as a good reason to do anything, certainly not a good reason to be rude to your host.
How can you travel? Before you’ve even left home, you’ve already decided, “I reject most of the world’s bounty and the expression of their hopes and dreams and culture.” Some nice, possibly impoverished Vietnamese rice farmer is nice enough to offer you the one chicken he can kill a month, or a week, and you say, “Sorry, I can’t”? It just seems antihuman. It’s antisocial.
And for anyone who says that everyone should eat like that — it completely ignores the fact that, well, we can’t afford to. We’ve got hungry people in this world.
It’s rude for me to eschew chemical crap in my food? On a day-to-day basis?
If I offer someone wine and they say “no thanks” ‘cos they don’t touch alcohol, or if I offer a Jew or a Muslim pork and they say, “no thanks”, is that rude? I guess not. So why is it rude for me to say “no thanks” to meat?
Yeah, it’s expensive to lead a primarily vegetarian or vegan lifestyle in a culture where you can get a 99 cent meal of chicken fingers at some junk food place, but need to pay 2 dollars for a small head of swiss chard. And that’s our fault? How?
A lot of people in India and China are vegetarian for most meals, because they cannot afford meat. Most of these people never visit Whole Foods.
If Eskimos cannot afford to buy or procure veggies, and have a completely carniovorous diet, we don’t expect them to alter their lifestyle to suit our perceptions. We happen to be able to sustain a vegetarian lifestyle, and would like to pursue it.
If Disdain can’t deal with that, he ought to go and camp with the Eskimos. Let’s see how thrilled they are to have in their midst a snooty Manhattaner who jetsets around the world with his TV crew and talks about his heart that bleeds for the omnivores who are persecuted by vegetarians, the lactose intolerant, and the obese.
As for the Vietnamese rice farmer who offers me a chicken, it is probably going to be free range, raised in his own courtyard, not an outcome of factory agriculture.
I will probably accept his offer and eat it. If someone is strictly vegetarian on ethical grounds and will not eat it, I suspect, the farmer will understand. Standing your ground politely is not being ‘anti-social’.
Being rude, overbearing sexist, elitist, and racist is.
There are judgmental jerks among omnivores and herbivores. They are essentially the same type of person – controlling, entitled, ignorant and plain infuriating. If only they could shut up and eat their tofuttis or beefburgers without being overly concerned about what’s on my plate, the world would be a nicer place.
- Bee
Filed Under: carnivore, diet, food, MUSINGS, NUTRITION, omnivore, Tony Bourdain, vegan, vegetarian
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18 Comments
HeHe, I have read this before, tried to leave a comment and it said “members only”. Didn’t know DH shut down too like the other one, what’s going on?
My whole family in India is strictly vegetarian, don’t even eat eggs or any animal products. But we, my immediate family here, are not purely vegetarian although 4-5days out of a week, I do cook veg only dishes because I prefer it that way. When we are out, anything will do. We are flexible, non-fussy people!
Have a wonderful weekend Bee, see ya next week!
Have read this on DH before too, and its still a great read! I agree, agression never helps-its always better and healthier for one’s peace of mind to adjust and accomodate. I don’t like people who start making mean comments soon as someone on the table orders a meat based dish, just as much as i don’t like folks who pass the “ghaas-phoos” comments about vegetarians! Have a great weekend Bee and Jai.
Hi Bee, I’ve been a regular visitor of your blog for the last month. This post really struck a chord as I was nodding and saying “exactly” vociferously in my mind throughout.
I’ve grown up in a vegetarian family in India and now live in Ireland where vegetarian options are scant. I’ve also met with serious ridicule quite a few times when enquiring about a vegetarian option. During working lunches, no one asks if anyone is a vegetarian and it’s hard to know who is ordering when and people think you’re being fussy. It is impossible for me to eat non-vegetarian food even if there’s no option at all. I’m not thinking end of the world situation here
It’s not about being flexible, non fussy people, but being able to exercise your basic choice in food.
If vegans and vegetarians can respect the choice and space of their meat compatriots, the same intelligence should be exercised by the latter.
As for Mister Disdain, he continues his journey of ignorance without any reservations!
-Anuradha
I didn’t read the last 2 paragraphs Bee ‘coz I’m really getting hungry and have to rush for lunch! but I got the gist, and I totally agree! it’s a matter of choice, and NO, its not hard being a vegetarian for someone who’s been that for thier entire life!!
thanks for pointing out that its best to “not mess”!!:)
have a nice weekend! and pls make some balanced breakfast and send it in to my WBB event:) hehehe:D
I did not read this on DH. A very good read. Once I went to a fast food asked for something vegetarian without meat and I landed up with a fish sandwich !!
Going green, organic, minimally processed food is challenging even in the bay area wihtout having to shell out a great deal of money. So I really argue withh myself whether I should buy the already-sprouted organic potatoes of the freshlooking non-organic variety. Not to mention paying a tonne for the organic variety.
I try not to go to extremes either way but yes I do find myself “advicing” my friends to go with organic dairy for health reasons, just out of care. I dont know whether I have to shut up or continue my “free services”
I will keep this article in mind. Well written and un-biased.
I agree with you in each and every line of ur post!!! Well written! I have had a tough time maintaining my vegetarianism too… Cheese burgers are not vegetarian… Veg Pad Thai contains fish stock….No wonder Naveen and I love Subway!!!
i practice the live and let live philosophy, but sometimes i do find myself defending my lifestyle choices to the ignorant, which are countless. i work with a crazy lady who keeps calling my big boss vegetarian because he’s Muslim and doesn’t eat pork. i mean really, where do you start? too many damn morons whose ignorance is astounding.
bourdain cracks me up; i don’t take anything he says seriously. he is all about ratings. although, i do confess i had the biggest crush on him while reading kitchen confidential years ago, shhh… (still do). you can have your brad pitts, but i would take a chef anyday.
The re read was great and as entertaining as the first time. Why did DH close down…..first Vcuisine, then Trupti….what’s going on..sigh…
Miri
Very well written post Bee! I have no arguments with anything you have written but acknowledgement.
Only to reiterate the evils that have happened in the name of vegeterianism is no way less and in some cases probably gretaer than those that have happened in the name of non-vegeterainism. At least in the latter case I have not heard of evils by one human being against another human being.
Have to add, I am bothered by the implicit assumption that I am Vegeterian just because I am Indian!!
Excellent post!
People have such a hard time digesting the fact that one is a vegetarian , probably by birt or choice or even both!
To each his own , I say!
very interesting article. Both me and my husband are raised ‘pure’ vegetarians (i mean no eggs) but now we’ve become flexible on that ground. We keep discovering the teeny weeny things even in our vegetarian options that contain sea food (like sauces in thai vege food).. it’s tough! I remember the rude remarks we had to hear in France once in McDonald’s when I asked for a burger without the patty and just the cheese and salad (and i was ready to pay the normal price). I wonder what kind of choice our boy would make… but we stick to vegetarianism at home.
what an interesting post! I’ve been vegetarian for about 15 years and when I first went vegetarian I was told by a country chef that I was the bane of his life but it has got easier as people around me have become more understanding of my choice, and cafes have become more accommodating of dietary needs.
Mr Disdain’s attitude still shocks me though. He sounds ignorant and small minded. But I agree that there are vegetarians/vegans whose extreme attitudes also horrify.
I feel that the ignorance of people about dietary alternatives is a big part of the problem. I’d like to think that I have changed friends and families attitudes to vegetarianism by sharing good vegetarian food much more successfully than if I told them what to eat.
I hear ya! My pet peeve- ‘So where DO you get your protein from’?!
Read this before and it struck a lot of chords.
As for Mr. Bourdain, I’ve heard enough from him to assume he really doesn’t know what he’s saying most of the time (maybe it’s all the stuff he keeps downing) or else this is his way attracting attention, and I suspect it’s the latter!
Thanks for an enlightening post, bee. I knew vegetarians and vegans must have it tough in the US and other western societies, but I had no idea there was such virulent ignorance out there. Thank you for keeping the bar high on what can be a very emotional discussion — I recently stumbled upon a rant and ensuing comments tirade on another emotional topic on another website that was so opposite in tone.
And Happy Women’s Day!
Its 100% acceptible that vegans can survive easily in countries like India but not in US. I was vegan for a decade and I visited Canada for a weeks time then. I can understand every word of u’rs when mapping to those days. I have to live on veggies burgers (thats the cheapest food I could get with my everyday allowance) and 2 loaves of bread with few bananas made me to fill up those days. The first thing I did when I landed in chennai is to ring up home and makeready a bowl full of idlies and toamto chutney for dinner. My mother could not shut her mouth on seeing the speed with which I galloped them
Very nice essay Bee. I was vegetarian for a few years and you’re right, it’s not easy in places like the U.S. and Europe. It is important to respect other people’s food choices as you would any person’s choices in life. (Though sometimes I do wish vegetarians would be a little less quiet about it and let me know they are vegetarian before they come to dinner, so that I can cook something we’ll all enjoy! These days I always try to ask.)
Hello Bee…getting to know your site and blogs..well done. Your blog is right on!
Even though I am a vegetarian, I do not preach! The only thing I am probably guilty of dishing out is probably advice for health. I recognize that people can meat & still have a healthy diet and there are plenty of vegetarians who just live off the frozen burgers.
I’ve been in Chicago for almost 10 years now and I’ve seen a huge difference in the offerings at the restaurants. For the most part, I’ve given up going to restaurants like Chili’s or any American diners or even Chinese restaurants. I stick to Paneras, Chipotles and other ethnic restaurants which already have veggie options on their menu. U know if a place does not have veggie options on its menu, its a no win situation. Might as well just pick up hummus from the supermarket and head home if u’re not in the mood to cook!